I can’t be around overly happy people. Don’t have to tell me how selfish that sounds. I just can’t. They’re a walking reminder of everything that’s wrong with me or I’m missing.
So. Going to go out on a whim here and trust my instincts. I’m not a doctor so I won’t have these great speeches about how certain I am about my atelophobia, I’m just going to say that after I’ve been doing a bit of reading on it, it sounds pretty familiar to my symptoms. Even my sister agrees. I don’t know. I’ve had these feelings brewing inside of me since my childhood probably. I was very easily to get hurt and cry (not physically) and I still am to think of it. Though last year was the worst it’s ever been. You know how you often get into a situation where someone you love tells some other person you love that they love them. It sounds a bit complicated but it’s not really. Well i couldn’t stand these situations. I felt so horribly unwanted, unloved and not cared about that I started having anxiety and panic attacks. I just felt like I was never good enough. I’m not saying I’m all better now, because I’m not, but I’m a little bit better. I’ve had these endless talks with my friends and family about how it’s all in my head and I know it all sounds ridiculous, but I just can’t force my brain to ignore these things. It’s making me unfocused and I lose attention too quickly. That’s what makes some very usual choirs at work or just studying really hard. I just hope I can find a way to be completely healed some day. I’m not saying it has to be tomorrow or next week or a month, I’m not even timing it, I just want to have this little bit of reassurance that it can happen. So far I’m feeling pretty optimistic. :)
Listen to me, you can’t fix people.
Your love won’t make him stop hating his father
and your devotion won’t cure her of her childhood.
All you can do is be there, violets sprouting out
from your ribs, acceptance on your lips, your own
wounds still bleeding and all you can do is be there
and sometimes that’s enough, sometimes that’s everything.
I’m doing a speech on the theme of sexism. It’s called: ”The media allows too much sexism”. Can anyone give me a hand and help me with the arguments as to why that is? My mind just went blank.